Friday, 2 August 2013
A home full of boxes
To become really free of material things, I'm not ready yet. I have to go ahead still a little, but I'm happy not beeing attached anymore in a unhealty way.
Things for me where all very near bounded with emotions. When I became something I wanted to save this feeling of beeing loved from them. It wasn't real love, but for a long time I wasn't able to see which one was real and which one no. I thougth the more value my things have, the more I would be loved. It was deep down saved in an unhealty way and I had really to let go of this.
I am loved and it doesn't depend on the things someone gift to me. You can't buy feelings with material things, they are so much deeper and precious.
I seeked for love the most period of my life. I seeked for it despareted and didn't knew where to find it and how to recognize it.
I was blind and on the way I learned lots of practices for selflove. I learned all different layers of how to feel enough and feel loved. I felt alone and wanted to show and explain this love I only was able to scratch on the surface. I knew it was something so big and always believed it exist.
It is destiny. It is the divine.
For me it's the feeling of bursting, deep down in my belly.
An overcoming wave of happiness that gives the sensation of exploding. It is near the feeling when you have an orgasm, it is so overcoming and I love that I can recall it.
I love to feel so overfull with love and feel how it expands inside and all around me.
Everyone has his challenges. I face them all over in my life, but see clearly how much they made me grow in who I am. Overcoming them made me to who I am today. They helped me to know myself and they help me still to grow and learn. Daily. There will be much more to learn.